Respondeo dicendum quod, sicut dictum est, illi qui sunt nobis magis coniuncti, sunt ex caritate magis diligendi, tum quia intensius diliguntur; tum etiam quia pluribus rationibus diliguntur. Intensio autem dilectionis est ex coniunctione dilecti ad diligentem. Et ideo diversorum dilectio est mensuranda secundum diversam rationem coniunctionis, ut scilicet unusquisque diligatur magis in eo quod pertinet ad illam coniunctionem secundum quam diligitur. Et ulterius comparanda est dilectio dilectioni secundum comparationem coniunctionis ad coniunctionem. Sic igitur dicendum est quod amicitia consanguineorum fundatur in coniunctione naturalis originis; amicitia autem concivium in communicatione civili; et amicitia commilitantium in communicatione bellica. Et ideo in his quae pertinent ad naturam plus debemus diligere consanguineos; in his autem quae pertinent ad civilem conversationem plus debemus diligere concives; et in bellicis plus commilitones. Unde et philosophus dicit, in IX Ethic., quod singulis propria et congruentia est attribuendum. Sic autem et facere videntur. Ad nuptias quidem vocant cognatos, videbitur utique et nutrimento parentibus oportere maxime sufficere, et honorem paternum. I answer that, As stated above (A. 7), we ought out of charity to love those who are more closely united to us more, both because our love for them is more intense, and because there are more reasons for loving them. Now intensity of love arises from the union of lover and beloved: and therefore we should measure the love of different persons according to the different kinds of union, so that a man is more loved in matters touching that particular union in respect of which he is loved. And, again, in comparing love to love we should compare one union with another. Accordingly we must say that friendship among blood relations is based upon their connection by natural origin, the friendship of fellow-citizens on their civic fellowship, and the friendship of those who are fighting side by side on the comradeship of battle. Wherefore in matters pertaining to nature we should love our kindred most, in matters concerning relations between citizens, we should prefer our fellow-citizens, and on the battlefield our fellow-soldiers. Hence the Philosopher says (Ethic. ix, 2) that it is our duty to render to each class of people such respect as is natural and appropriate. This is in fact the principle upon which we seem to act, for we invite our relations to a wedding . . . It would seem to be a special duty to afford our parents the means of living . . . and to honor them. Et simile etiam in aliis. The same applies to other kinds of friendship. Si autem comparemus coniunctionem ad coniunctionem, constat quod coniunctio naturalis originis est prior et immobilior, quia est secundum id quod pertinet ad substantiam; aliae autem coniunctiones sunt supervenientes, et removeri possunt. Et ideo amicitia consanguineorum est stabilior. Sed aliae amicitiae possunt esse potiores secundum illud quod est proprium unicuique amicitiae. If however we compare union with union, it is evident that the union arising from natural origin is prior to, and more stable than, all others, because it is something affecting the very substance, whereas other unions supervene and may cease altogether. Therefore the friendship of kindred is more stable, while other friendships may be stronger in respect of that which is proper to each of them. Ad primum ergo dicendum quod quia amicitia sociorum propria electione contrahitur in his quae sub nostra electione cadunt, puta in agendis, praeponderat haec dilectio dilectioni consanguineorum, ut scilicet magis cum illis consentiamus in agendis. Amicitia tamen consanguineorum est stabilior, utpote naturalior existens, et praevalet in his quae ad naturam spectant. Unde magis eis tenemur in provisione necessariorum. Reply Obj. 1: inasmuch as the friendship of comrades originates through their own choice, love of this kind takes precedence of the love of kindred in matters where we are free to do as we choose, for instance in matters of action. Yet the friendship of kindred is more stable, since it is more natural, and preponderates over others in matters touching nature: consequently we are more beholden to them in the providing of necessaries. Ad secundum dicendum quod Ambrosius loquitur de dilectione quantum ad beneficia quae pertinent ad communicationem gratiae, scilicet de instructione morum. In hac enim magis debet homo subvenire filiis spiritualibus, quos spiritualiter genuit, quam filiis corporalibus, quibus tenetur magis providere in corporalibus subsidiis. Reply Obj. 2: Ambrose is speaking of love with regard to favors respecting the fellowship of grace, namely, moral instruction. For in this matter, a man ought to provide for his spiritual children whom he has begotten spiritually, more than for the sons of his body, whom he is bound to support in bodily sustenance. Ad tertium dicendum quod ex hoc quod duci exercitus magis obeditur in bello quam patri, non probatur quod simpliciter pater minus diligatur, sed quod minus diligatur secundum quid, idest secundum dilectionem bellicae communicationis. Reply Obj. 3: The fact that in the battle a man obeys his officer rather than his father proves, that he loves his father less, not simply, but relatively, i.e., as regards the love which is based on fellowship in battle. Articulus 9 Article 9 Utrum homo ex caritate magis debeat diligere filium quam patrem Whether a man ought, out of charity, to love his children more than his father? Ad nonum sic proceditur. Videtur quod homo ex caritate magis debeat diligere filium quam patrem. Illum enim magis debemus diligere cui magis debemus benefacere. Sed magis debemus benefacere filiis quam parentibus, dicit enim apostolus, II ad Cor. XII, non debent filii thesaurizare parentibus, sed parentes filiis. Ergo magis sunt diligendi filii quam parentes. Objection 1: It seems that a man ought, out of charity, to love his children more than his father. For we ought to love those more to whom we are more bound to do good. Now we are more bound to do good to our children than to our parents, since the Apostle says (2 Cor 12:14): Neither ought the children to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children. Therefore a man ought to love his children more than his parents. Praeterea, gratia perficit naturam. Sed naturaliter parentes plus diligunt filios quam ab eis diligantur; ut Philosophus dicit, in VIII Ethic. Ergo magis debemus diligere filios quam parentes. Obj. 2: Further, grace perfects nature. But parents naturally love their children more than these love them, as the Philosopher states (Ethic. viii, 12). Therefore a man ought to love his children more than his parents. Praeterea, per caritatem affectus hominis Deo conformatur. Sed Deus magis diligit filios quam diligatur ab eis. Ergo etiam et nos magis debemus diligere filios quam parentes. Obj. 3: Further, man’s affections are conformed to God by charity. But God loves His children more than they love Him. Therefore we also ought to love our children more than our parents. Sed contra est quod Ambrosius dicit, primo Deus diligendus est, secundo parentes, inde filii, post domestici. On the contrary, Ambrose says: We ought to love God first, then our parents, then our children, and lastly those of our household. Respondeo dicendum quod, sicut supra dictum est, gradus dilectionis ex duobus pensari potest. Uno modo, ex parte obiecti. Et secundum hoc id quod habet maiorem rationem boni est magis diligendum, et quod est Deo similius. Et sic pater est magis diligendus quam filius, quia scilicet patrem diligimus sub ratione principii, quod habet rationem eminentioris boni et Deo similioris. I answer that, As stated above (A. 4, ad 1; A. 7), the degrees of love may be measured from two standpoints. First, from that of the object. In this respect the better a thing is, and the more like to God, the more is it to be loved: and in this way a man ought to love his father more than his children, because, to wit, he loves his father as his principle, in which respect he is a more exalted good and more like God. Alio modo computantur gradus dilectionis ex parte ipsius diligentis. Et sic magis diligitur quod est coniunctius. Et secundum hoc filius est magis diligendus quam pater; ut Philosophus dicit, in VIII Ethic. Primo quidem, quia parentes diligunt filios ut aliquid sui existentes; pater autem non est aliquid filii; et ideo dilectio secundum quam pater diligit filium similior est dilectioni qua quis diligit seipsum. Secundo, quia parentes magis sciunt aliquos esse suos filios quam e converso. Tertio, quia filius est magis propinquus parenti, utpote pars existens, quam pater filio, ad quem habet habitudinem principii. Quarto, quia parentes diutius amaverunt, nam statim pater incipit diligere filium; filius autem tempore procedente incipit diligere patrem. Dilectio autem quanto est diuturnior, tanto est fortior, secundum illud Eccli. IX, non derelinquas amicum antiquum, novus enim non erit similis illi. Second, the degrees of love may be measured from the standpoint of the lover, and in this respect a man loves more that which is more closely connected with him, in which way a man’s children are more lovable to him than his father, as the Philosopher states (Ethic. viii). First, because parents love their children as being part of themselves, whereas the father is not part of his son, so that the love of a father for his children, is more like a man’s love for himself. Second, because parents know better that so and so is their child than vice versa. Third, because children are nearer to their parents, as being part of them, than their parents are to them to whom they stand in the relation of a principle. Fourth, because parents have loved longer, for the father begins to love his child at once, whereas the child begins to love his father after a lapse of time; and the longer love lasts, the stronger it is, according to Ecclus. 9:14: Forsake not an old friend, for the new will not be like to him. Ad primum ergo dicendum quod principio debetur subiectio reverentiae et honor, effectui autem proportionaliter competit recipere influentiam principii et provisionem ipsius. Et propter hoc parentibus a filiis magis debetur honor, filiis autem magis debetur cura provisionis. Reply Obj. 1: The debt due to a principle is submission of respect and honor, whereas that due to the effect is one of influence and care. Hence the duty of children to their parents consists chiefly in honor: while that of parents to their children is especially one of care. Ad secundum dicendum quod pater naturaliter plus diligit filium secundum rationem coniunctionis ad seipsum. Sed secundum rationem eminentioris boni filius naturaliter plus diligit patrem. Reply Obj. 2: It is natural for a man as father to love his children more, if we consider them as closely connected with him: but if we consider which is the more exalted good, the son naturally loves his father more. Ad tertium dicendum quod, sicut Augustinus dicit, in I de Doct. Christ., Deus diligit nos ad nostram utilitatem et suum honorem. Et ideo, quia pater comparatur ad nos in habitudine principii, sicut et Deus, ad patrem proprie pertinet ut ei a filiis honor impendatur, ad filium autem ut eius utilitati a parentibus provideatur. Quamvis in articulo necessitatis filius obligatus sit ex beneficiis susceptis, ut parentibus maxime provideat. Reply Obj. 3: As Augustine says (De Doctr. Christ. i, 32), God loves us for our good and for His honor. Wherefore since our father is related to us as principle, even as God is, it belongs properly to the father to receive honor from his children, and to the children to be provided by their parents with what is good for them. Nevertheless in cases of necessity the child is bound out of the favors received to provide for his parents before all. Articulus 10 Article 10 Utrum homo magis debeat diligere matrem quam patrem Whether a man ought to love his mother more than his father? Ad decimum sic proceditur. Videtur quod homo magis debeat diligere matrem quam patrem. Ut enim philosophus dicit, in I de Gen. Animal., femina in generatione dat corpus. Sed homo non habet animam a patre, sed per creationem a Deo, ut in primo dictum est. Ergo homo plus habet a matre quam a patre. Plus ergo debet diligere matrem quam patrem. Objection 1: It would seem that a man ought to love his mother more than his father. For, as the Philosopher says (De Gener. Animal. i, 20), the female produces the body in generation. Now man receives his soul, not from his father, but from God by creation, as stated in the First Part (Q. 90, A. 2; Q. 118). Therefore a man receives more from his mother than from his father: and consequently he ought to love her more than him. Praeterea, magis amantem debet homo magis diligere. Sed mater plus diligit filium quam pater, dicit enim philosophus, in IX Ethic., quod matres magis sunt amatrices filiorum. Laboriosior enim est generatio matrum; et magis sciunt quoniam ipsarum sunt filii quam patres. Ergo mater est magis diligenda quam pater. Obj. 2: Further, where greater love is given, greater love is due. Now a mother loves her child more than the father does: for the Philosopher says (Ethic. ix, 7) that mothers have greater love for their children. For the mother labors more in child-bearing, and she knows more surely than the father who are her children. Praeterea, ei debetur maior dilectionis affectus qui pro nobis amplius laboravit, secundum illud Rom. ult., salutate Mariam, quae multum laboravit in vobis. Sed mater plus laborat in generatione et educatione quam pater, unde dicitur Eccli. VII, gemitum matris tuae ne obliviscaris. Ergo plus debet homo diligere matrem quam patrem. Obj. 3: Further, love should be more fond towards those who have labored for us more, according to Rom. 16:6: Salute Mary, who hath labored much among you. Now the mother labors more than the father in giving birth and education to her child; wherefore it is written (Sir 7:29): Forget not the groanings of thy mother. Therefore a man ought to love his mother more than his father. Sed contra est quod Hieronymus dicit, super Ezech., quod post Deum, omnium patrem, diligendus est pater, et postea addit de matre. On the contrary, Jerome says on Ezech. 44:25 that man ought to love God the Father of all, and then his own father, and mentions the mother afterwards. Respondeo dicendum quod in istis comparationibus id quod dicitur est intelligendum per se, ut videlicet intelligatur esse quaesitum de patre inquantum est pater, an sit plus diligendus matre inquantum est mater. Potest enim in omnibus huiusmodi tanta esse distantia virtutis et malitiae ut amicitia solvatur vel minuatur; ut philosophus dicit, in VIII Ethic. Et ideo, ut Ambrosius dicit, boni domestici sunt malis filiis praeponendi. I answer that, In making such comparisons as this, we must take the answer in the strict sense, so that the present question is whether the father as father, ought to be loved more than the mother as mother. The reason is that virtue and vice may make such a difference in such like matters, that friendship may be diminished or destroyed, as the Philosopher remarks (Ethic. viii, 7). Hence Ambrose says: Good servants should be preferred to wicked children. Sed per se loquendo, pater magis est amandus quam mater. Amantur enim pater et mater ut principia quaedam naturalis originis. Pater autem habet excellentiorem rationem principii quam mater, quia pater est principium per modum agentis, mater autem magis per modum patientis et materiae. Et ideo, per se loquendo, pater est magis diligendus. Strictly speaking, however, the father should be loved more than the mother. For father and mother are loved as principles of our natural origin. Now the father is principle in a more excellent way than the mother, because he is the active principle, while the mother is a passive and material principle. Consequently, strictly speaking, the father is to be loved more. Ad primum ergo dicendum quod in generatione hominis mater ministrat materiam corporis informem, formatur autem per virtutem formativam quae est in semine patris. Et quamvis huiusmodi virtus non possit creare animam rationalem, disponit tamen materiam corporalem ad huiusmodi formae susceptionem. Reply Obj. 1: In the begetting of man, the mother supplies the formless matter of the body; and the latter receives its form through the formative power that is in the semen of the father. And though this power cannot create the rational soul, yet it disposes the matter of the body to receive that form. Ad secundum dicendum quod hoc pertinet ad aliam rationem dilectionis, alia enim est species amicitiae qua diligimus amantem, et qua diligimus generantem. Nunc autem loquimur de amicitia quae debetur patri et matri secundum generationis rationem. Reply Obj. 2: This applies to another kind of love. For the friendship between lover and lover differs specifically from the friendship between child and parent: while the friendship we are speaking of here, is that which a man owes his father and mother through being begotten of them. The Reply to the Third Objection is evident. Articulus 11 Article 11 Utrum homo plus debeat diligere uxorem quam patrem et matrem Whether a man ought to love his wife more than his father and mother? Ad undecimum sic proceditur. Videtur quod homo plus debeat diligere uxorem quam patrem et matrem. Nullus enim dimittit rem aliquam nisi pro re magis dilecta. Sed Gen. II dicitur quod propter uxorem relinquet homo patrem et matrem. Ergo magis debet diligere uxorem quam patrem vel matrem. Objection 1: It would seem that a man ought to love his wife more than his father and mother. For no man leaves a thing for another unless he love the latter more. Now it is written (Gen 2:24) that a man shall leave father and mother on account of his wife. Therefore a man ought to love his wife more than his father and mother. Praeterea, apostolus dicit, ad Ephes. V, quod viri debent diligere uxores sicut seipsos. Sed homo magis debet diligere seipsum quam parentes. Ergo etiam magis debet diligere uxorem quam parentes. Obj. 2: Further, the Apostle says (Eph 5:33) that a husband should love his wife as himself. Now a man ought to love himself more than his parents. Therefore he ought to love his wife also more than his parents. Praeterea, ubi sunt plures rationes dilectionis, ibi debet esse maior dilectio. Sed in amicitia quae est ad uxorem sunt plures rationes dilectionis, dicit enim philosophus, in VIII Ethic., quod in hac amicitia videtur esse utile et delectabile et propter virtutem, si virtuosi sint coniuges. Ergo maior debet esse dilectio ad uxorem quam ad parentes. Obj. 3: Further, love should be greater where there are more reasons for loving. Now there are more reasons for love in the friendship of a man towards his wife. For the Philosopher says (Ethic. viii, 12) that in this friendship there are the motives of utility, pleasure, and also of virtue, if husband and wife are virtuous. Therefore a man’s love for his wife ought to be greater than his love for his parents. Sed contra est quod vir debet diligere uxorem suam sicut carnem suam, ut dicitur ad Ephes. V. Sed corpus suum minus debet homo diligere quam proximum, ut supra dictum est. Inter proximos autem magis debemus diligere parentes. Ergo magis debemus diligere parentes quam uxorem. On the contrary, According to Eph. 5:28, men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. Now a man ought to love his body less than his neighbor, as stated above (A. 5): and among his neighbors he should love his parents most. Therefore he ought to love his parents more than his wife. Respondeo dicendum quod, sicut dictum est, gradus dilectionis attendi potest et secundum rationem boni, et secundum coniunctionem ad diligentem. Secundum igitur rationem boni, quod est obiectum dilectionis, magis sunt diligendi parentes quam uxores, quia diliguntur sub ratione principii et eminentioris cuiusdam boni. I answer that, As stated above (A. 9), the degrees of love may be taken from the good (which is loved), or from the union between those who love. On the part of the good which is the object loved, a man should love his parents more than his wife, because he loves them as his principles and considered as a more exalted good. Secundum autem rationem coniunctionis magis diligenda est uxor, quia uxor coniungitur viro ut una caro existens, secundum illud Matth. XIX, itaque iam non sunt duo, sed una caro. Et ideo intensius diligitur uxor, sed maior reverentia est parentibus exhibenda. But on the part of the union, the wife ought to be loved more, because she is united with her husband, as one flesh, according to Matt. 19:6: Therefore now they are not two, but one flesh. Consequently a man loves his wife more intensely, but his parents with greater reverence. Ad primum ergo dicendum quod non quantum ad omnia deseritur pater et mater propter uxorem, in quibusdam enim magis debet homo assistere parentibus quam uxori. Sed quantum ad unionem carnalis copulae et cohabitationis, relictis omnibus parentibus, homo adhaeret uxori. Reply Obj. 1: A man does not in all respects leave his father and mother for the sake of his wife: for in certain cases a man ought to succor his parents rather than his wife. He does however leave all his kinsfolk, and cleaves to his wife as regards the union of carnal connection and cohabitation.